Stigma of Being a Stay at Home Mom

I have been a stay at home mom the past four years since my daughter was born. It is hard to feel super successful and satisfied with my life when society seems to think less of the women who make the choice to raise their children.

A few weeks back I met this woman at an event of my daughters. While she was in class, the woman chatted my ear off about many things. I am a shy person, so I am happy to listen as others who like to talk do so. I saw her for a few weeks, and then finally when I got a word in edgewise, I happen to mention that I stay home with my daughter and then I never saw this woman again. And I saw her daughter at the classes. This may just be paranoia but it was quite a coincidence.

I am not dumb, or anti-feminist, or lazy, or less than, just because I am a stay at home mom. I chose to be. I decided to leave my job because it was just a job, and it didn't give me enough money to make it worthwhile. I didn't have a career. But even those that do have a career that they are proud of who choose to stay at home with their children are still worthwhile.

I am almost afraid to even say that I stay at home, because you never know what that person's opinion will be. I tend to think more about what others think of me than what I think of myself. That is my failing as a person, but it doesn't make it okay to think down on someone who chooses a life with their children. It doesn't mean that they give up themselves for their children. It doesn't make you a better mother to have a job or not.

I wanted to be there for her, to protect her, to teach her right from wrong, to help learn things, to make her feel loved. I am trying so hard to make her feel everything that I didn't feel when I was a child. All I want is to do right by her. Not to mention she is an amazing kid who is a blast to hang out with.

I'd like to mention my mother. She is someone who was a stay at home mom, she had a job when my sisters and i were older, but for the most part she stayed at home with us. I don't know if she was super happy doing so. I think it was just something that was done then. But when my sister had a child she used to harass my sister about quitting her job. But my sister has a career that she loves. That she has put years of school and work into. For her staying at home is not the right decision. And i respect that. She is a great mom who loves her kids, and has given them the best life she can. But my mom always thought less of her for not quitting her job. But when it came to myself and I quit my job to stay at home, she keeps asking me if I will be getting a job when my daughter goes to school. I don't understand why. But it definitely makes me feel insecure. I only want to do what's right for our family at the right time.

So just let people do what's right for them. And don't put your own opinions on other people. What's right for you doesn't make it right for everyone. Do not think less of someone for doing what's right for their family.